A few years back I started to notice that I kept seeing the same type of adult client coming to me. As I did an inventory of these clients I began to notice that they all had many similarities but the key factor was the transformation that took place during counseling. In each session I consistently found that I moved back and forth between talking to the 30 something man or women then talking to their 3-year-old inner child. That’s right these adult clients were all survivors of childhood abuse or neglect coming to me unaware of how their childhood abuse was still impacting their day-to-day life as an adult.
This blog is dedicated to all my brave soul survivors who challenged themselves to look at their dark emotions and work to overcome their fears.
Childhood Emotional Wounds
Research is just now beginning to understand how profoundly the emotional trauma of early child hood affects a person as an adult. They realized that if not healed, these early childhood emotional wounds, and the subconscious attitudes adopted because of them, would dictate the adult’s reaction to, and path through, life. Thus we walk around looking like and trying to act like adults, while reacting to life out of the emotional wounds and attitudes of childhood. We keep repeating the patterns of abandonment, abuse, and deprivation that we experienced in childhood.
The Brain and Childhood Abuse or Neglect
Research consistently supports that abuse in childhood can dramatically alter the way the brain copes with stress in adulthood. Consequently childhood trauma can shape the way your brain works. The limbic system sometimes called ‘the emotional brain’ is the area in the brain that initiates the fight, flight or freeze response, for surveyors of childhood abuse their amygdala which perceives danger is immune to the effects of stress hormone cortisol designed to regulate it’s response it may continue to sound an alarm inappropriately. This is because the production of cortisol in children with histories of abuse and neglect is stuck in a chronic ‘hyper-arousal’ state and may persists for many survivors throughout their adult years as well. Even when the abuse and violence has ceased and the environment is ‘safe’, many adult trauma survivors still perceive the threat to be present.
So Now You’re an Adult
As an adults survivor of childhood abuse or neglect you may find that you produce too much of the stress hormone cortisol which causes you to be in a state of ‘hyper-arousal’ which in turn decrease the volume of your hippocampaal causing poorer functioning of declarative memory placing you to be at a greater risk for experiences of depression and physical inflammations. As an adult survivor you will be more likely to be highly stressed, have difficulties with anger and emotions, and be prone to self-harm, anxiety, suicide and depression.
What to do Now
Adult Survivors of Child Abuse (ASCA) is an international self-help support group program designed specifically for adult survivors of neglect, physical, sexual, and/or emotional abuse suggest that you take some time with the following two self-assessment scales to help you determine your current level of safety. After each checklist and the scoring information, there are some recommendations, which are designed to help you determine whether you are ready to progress with a recovery program.
Check “Yes” or “No” to answer each question:
1. Do you have impulses to harm yourself? Y:___ N:___
2. Do you find yourself in unsafe situations? Y:___ N:___
3. Do you easily feel overwhelmed by feelings, thoughts,
memories or bodily sensations? Y:___ N:___
4. Do you currently feel threatened by someone close to you? Y:___ N:___
5. Have you ever attempted suicide? Y:___ N:___
6. Have you ever “lost time” or lost sense of being yourself? Y:___ N:___
7. Do you use alcohol or drugs to excess? Y:___ N:___
8. Is there a firearm or other potentially dangerous
weapon at your residence? Y:___ N:___
9. Have you been victimized by someone within
the last three years? Y:___ N:___
10. Is someone close to you involved in illegal activities? Y:___ N:___
SCORING: If you checked “YES” to more than three questions, your current risk level is HIGH.
RECOMMENDATIONS: Let this checklist tell you what you must do to lower your risk level and create more safety in your life. Some of the situations, such as that posed in question eight, concerning firearms or dangerous weapons, can be resolved easily: remove the firearm or weapon from your residence. With other situations, such as past victimization (question nine), there is little you can do except to make every effort to prevent a recurrence. In most of the other questions, the issues are somewhat complicated but not unsolvable. You can (and should) seek professional help if you lose sense of time or of your self or have impulses to harm yourself. If you are being threatened or abused by someone close to you, you need to take steps to protect yourself and to make the threats or abuse stop even if this means ending the relationship. If you are unsure as to how to address any of these questions, then you may need help to figure out how to create SAFETY FIRST!
Suicide Behavior Checklist
Check “Yes” or “No” to answer each question:
1. Do you feel chronically depressed? Y:___ N:___
2. Do you have recurring thoughts of killing yourself? Y:___ N:___
3. Do you have a specific plan to kill yourself? Y:___ N:___
4. Have you acquired the means to kill yourself,
such as a supply of pills or a gun? Y:___ N:___
5. Do you intend to carry out this plan to kill yourself
within a specified time frame? Y:___ N:___
6. Do you have thoughts of actually killing or harming others? Y:___ N:___
7. If yes, have you made specific plans or arrangements
for this to occur? Y:___ N:___
SCORING: If you answered “YES” to ANY of the above questions, your suicide/harmful behavior risk level is HIGH.
RECOMMENDATIONS: Get professional help IMMEDIATELY.
You need to first lower your suicide/harmful behavior risk before attempting to initiate or continue recovery from your child abuse. The two are probably connected, but it is very important that you concentrate first on stabilizing yourself before delving deeper into your abuse issues.
Adult Survivors of Child Abuse (ASCA) is an international self-help support group program designed specifically for adult survivors of neglect, physical, sexual, and/or emotional abuse. Web pagehttp://www.ascasupport.org/
The ASCA program offers:
- Community based self-help support groups
- Provider based self-help support groups
- Web based self-help support groups
- Survivor to Thriver workbooks
If you would like Dr. Kay Trotter to come talk to your group or find out more about her counseling practice, you can contact her at: Kay@KayTrotter.com, 214-499-0396, or visit her web site http://www.KayTrotter.com.
Dr Trotter also post regularly in her FaceBook fan page http://www.facebook.com/DrKaySudekumTrotter.