Healing | Kay Trotter

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All Posts Tagged: Healing

Coping with Grief at Christmas through Play

“I miss my sissy”

I have to share this photo and story from another play therapies friend of mine!

Molly wrote me telling me this story: A friend of mine lost her, then 16-year-old, daughter in a car accident one year ago. As the family is dealing with the pain of the loss at the holidays – this photo was taken today (Dec 23, 2013).

It is my friends older daughter who is 19, found in the home playing with their old toys (which the two were known to do often together.) I love this photo – it speaks VOLUMES to the power of play – at the angel the picture was taken, you can’t tell this is a 19-year-old young lady, but rather – I can see the child in her coming out, trying to feel connected to her lost sister as a way to cope with missing her at the Holidays.

In her words, she shared “I miss my sissy and this was the only way to feel more with her.”

Dr Kay Trotter Kaleidoscope Counseling

Through play a child communicates emotions & feelings

I would love to hear your stores on how you cope with grieve during the Christmas Holiday.

Please leave me your comment as this is the first Christmas with out my mom (Sue Sudekum 1932-2013) and I miss her very much. In fact I find that this Christmas I cry a lot and at the lease little thing too. As painful as this time is, it does bring my mom closer to me as I have been thinning and talking to her often.

Death and Grief Resources

Dealing with grief during the holidays

An encouraging word – for those who grief at Christmas 

Dr John Irvine helping children deal with grief at Christmas

More of Dr Kay’s blogs on Grief:

Grief and Loss

How to Comfort a Friend After a Death

Guiding Teens Through Loss

Invisible Wounds of Deeply Hurting Children

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Struggling with Addiction? We can help!

Addiction can take a significant toll on an individual’s personal, occupational and family life. Whether a chemical addiction (drugs or alcohol) or a behavioral addiction (sex, gambling, technology), the first step in getting help is recognizing the problem.

Here are some key aspects to explore:

  • Do you find yourself craving more of the same object in order to obtain previous ‘highs’?
  • Have people been pointing out that you may have a problem?
  • Are you constantly obsessing over the behavior? Does every conversation end up on said topic?
  • Is your work, school, personal or family life struggling as a result of the problem?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may be struggling with addiction. In regards to substance addiction, the DSM-IV, the ‘bible’ of psychiatry, recognizes three levels of diagnosis: use, abuse, and dependence. “Substance use” refers to more casual, low-risk addictive behaviors. Abuse indicates that the problem is more severe, and dependence refers to full blown emotional or physical dependence on the substance, indicating withdrawals. Behavioral addiction is measured differently. What most people would term ‘sex addiction’ or ‘gambling addiction’ are referred to as compulsive behaviors. Technological addiction, like playing farmville for 10 hours a day, is not recognized as an official diagnosis. However, more professionals are starting to recognize the destructive effects of technological overuse on individual’s personal, family, and occupational lives.

If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction, the first step is seeking treatment. For an individual who is on the ‘use’ end of the spectrum, a combination of talk therapy and medication could be appropriate.



Comprehensive Addiction Treatment Resources

Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism

Narcotics Anonymous  vision is that every addict in the world has the chance to experience our message in his or  her own language and culture and find the opportunity for a new way of life.

Santé Center for Healing Santé is situated on a beautiful hilltop in rural Argyle, Texas and treats adults that are suffer from addictive disorders including chemical dependency and process addiction.

Caron Treatment Centers-Texas provides comprehensive gender-separate chemical dependency treatment programs to meet the needs of young adults and adults.

Dr. Kay Sudekum Trotter – Counseling Services  addictions treatment (chemical, Internet and pornography) focuses on identifying the source of stressful situations or unpleasant feelings while recognizing how problematic usage is affecting the individual’s life.


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Bloom where you’re planted

Guest Author – Jonna Rae Bartge is a creative catalyst, published author, intuitive and professional spiritual adviser.

Spring has finally snuggled up to the Western North Carolina mountains after one of the angriest winters the entire nation has endured in decades.

When the snows at last disappeared into the warming ground, we could all see the devastation heavy ice and strong winds brought to the trees and shrubs. In the swath of woods surrounding my little hilltop home, countless branches lay around the base of pines, oaks and sycamores. Other limbs were only partially ripped from the trees, and remained connected by strands of bare wood.

In the past few weeks, though, magic came to these battered and bruised forests. I was walking my black lab Bear along one little wooded path when I saw the first one — a dogwood branch lay on the ground, just barely still attached to the trunk of the tree. But from that partially severed limb burst a virtual bouquet of blooms, defying all logic. I looked around, and there was another downed branch, with a perilously fragile connection to the tree, resplendent in spectacular flowers. It was a humbling, inspiring discovery that seemed to immediately apply not only to the trees who refused to give up, but to all of us, too.

We’re all being challenged right now on many different dimensions. We’re all finding ourselves in situations and circumstances we did not consciously choose, and it’s easy to feel threatened, abandoned, or cut-off. But no matter how tough we’ve had it, or how severe the storm was that we just weathered, we still have a choice. We can give up, or we can latch on to that connection we still have to a higher state of consciousness, and we can bloom.

There’s an old proverb, “Bloom where you’re planted.” I challenge all of us to “Bloom when you’re broken.” Deciding to still bloom, no matter what the damage, is the first step to real healing.

Let the healing begin!

“Jonna Rae is co-author of Kenny’s Journals: The True Story of a Love-Driven Life, available on amazon.com. Her autobiography, Psychic or Psychotic? Memoirs of a Happy Medium is coming out this spring.

Jonna Rae Bartges  • Bartges Communication • http://www.bartges.com           ‘Happy Medium’ Jonna Rae • www.happymedium.us

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Steps to Surrender


My Spiritual Journey: Counselor—Faith—Intuition

July 2, 2009

Part 5 of a 5 part blog series

Today as I sat meditating I realized that another message I received yesterday is that God has a very important mission for me. Yes, it will change my life greatly, and it will also change the lives of many others. But I already knew that, right? So, what is the problem?

Surrender is the problem or lack of surrendering really. I need to surrender this to God and start doing his work. Knowing deep down in my being that when I go out on faith — when I own my healing power — God will be there and to take care of me. BUT my ego has got to get out of the way.

Great, you’re saying. How in the heck do I get my headstrong crazy ego to leave, or just chill out? Well, yesterday I finally heard the answer, and it actually is simple. It’s something that I’ve heard for years, but I guess I really did not truly hear it. It’s prayer. It’s asking specifically for God’s guidance. Asking for God to help me. So, in essence when we pray to God, asking Him to come into our lives and guide us, what we really are doing is two-fold. First, by “asking” we are giving God and all His angles permission to be with us. To interact on our benefit. To change the course of things. To be our companion. To work hand and hand with us throughout our lives.

I did not realize that because of the free will God gave us, without us asking God to guide us, he couldn’t. What irony is that?

All those years when I was a volunteer in youth group and people would ask me how I felt about abortion, I would tell them I am pro-choice. Boy, what violent and confused reactions I would get. Then I simply would ask them this question: “What is one of the greatest gifts God has given us?” The answer, of course, is “free will.” It is this gift of free will that requires us to ask God to guide us. Until we specifically ask, all God can do is sit back and love us.

The other thing that happens when we “ask” God is that through our asking, He now is in charge, and our ego can be removed. Once our ego is out of the picture, our fears lessen. Why? Because we are not in control – God is. Remember, we asked God to guide our steps, and to be in charge. We turned our troubles over to him. How cool is that.

Of course our domineering, blood sucking ego has a hard time staying out of things, so it becomes a process of assuring our ego — like little children —that everything will be okay. So during this discovery I wrote down some prayers and affirmations to help me ask God specifically to guide me on this spiritual journey.

I am surrounded by the pure white light of God
For love, guidance and protection
Only good shall go from me;
Only good shall come to me.
I give thanks, I give thanks, I give thanks.

Things to remember or focus on:
Guide me, God so I can be of spiritual service.
I must ask for God’s guidance and direction everyday in my life.
I must ask for spiritual assistance to come into my life.
I need to focus on the promise of what is coming (this helps keep my ego in check).

With all this in mind I came up with my daily prayer.

My Daily Prayer
Thank you, God, for calling me to be of spiritual service to you,
And for giving me this time to reflect and become whole.
Please guide me in doing the best possible actions each day.
Please send me people who will help me fulfill Your mission for me in this lifetime.

My Spiritual Journey Continued

Part 1 My Spiritual Journey

Part 2 My Struggle…

Part 3 God’s Passionate Touch

Part 4 God Wants to Talk to You

If you would like Dr. Kay Trotter to come talk to your group or find out more about Kaleidoscope Counseling please call 214-499-0396

Dr Trotter also post regularly on her: Facebook Fan Page and Pinterest.

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God Wants to Talk to You


My Spiritual Journey: Counselor—Faith—Intuition

July 1, 2009

Part 4 of a 5 part blog series

It has been a couple of weeks since I have written in my journal because I have been running away.  That is not to say that God has stopped working in my life—for He has not. I am the one who has been confounding the process. Why, you might ask? Well, that is simple.  “ I got scared” and “I became overwhelmed.” It was interesting when this happened because even though I ran away from journaling and mediating, God was still there — talking to me and guiding me.  He was letting me realize what He wants me to know about Him and His children, and most importantly what He wants me to know about myself.

You might think that’s an awfully egoistical thing to say—that “I am that important.” I, for one, hate to be around people who are all about themselves. I often tell people who are caught-up in themselves, “You’re not that important.” Well, I say that on the inside, anyway. I am way too nice a person to say something so hurtful to their face. Perhaps what I have been doing all this time is saying those words to myself: “Kay, you’re not that important.” But to God, I am that important, as is each one of His children. Right now, though, during my spiritual journey, I think God is telling me, “Yes Kay, you are very important, and I have a very special job for you to do. I need you to embrace your uniqueness so that you can share your unique sense of passion and being.”

Yesterday I had a very special phone conservation with a friend of mine who God put in my life to help guide me on this journey, and to help me claim my healing power. Do you know how hard that was for me to just write that, “to claim my healing power?” The only way I could was to realize that when I claim my own power, in essence I am claiming God’s power. I can do that – I can claim God’s power. And as I go through this process I will gradually also claim my own power and be okay with that.  But today, July 1, 2009, I am not comfortable “claiming all my power.” Oh, I suppose I am okay with parts of it, but I definitely am NOT okay with claiming all of it.

Many things came out of my phone conservation yesterday — like it is me who keeps people at arms length, not them. Yes, people find me to be quirky, expressive and totally unorthodox, but they are not judging me as I thought they were. They are simply processing how to take in this very alive person. The judgment and criticism is not from them but from when I was a kid in elementary school. I was the black sheep of my class — in fact, a fellow classmates of mine repeatedly said I had “cooties.” Yesterday when I realized this, it was like a light went off in my brain.  I cognitively realized that the judgment I so often feel is an old schema from my formative years. Just like I tell my clients, I will have to work hard on changing this old schema and replacing it with a more positive and realistic understanding.

I feel myself growing, realizing ways I’ve limited myself and my happiness, knowing I have the power to change those old behaviors if I so choose.  This growth is not comfortable or easy – but it’s important, and good. I’m slowly turning my deepest hidden fears over to God, and with each one I release, I feel lighter.

My Spiritual Journey Continued 

Part 1 My Spiritual Journey

Part 2 My Struggle…

Part 3 God’s Passionate Touch

Part 5 Steps to Surrender

If you would like Dr. Kay Trotter to come talk to your group or find out more about Kaleidoscope Counseling please call 214-499-0396

Dr Trotter also post regularly on her: Facebook Fan Page and Pinterest.

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God’s Compassionate Touch


Part 3 of My Spiritual Journey: Counselor—Faith—Intuition

June 22, 2009

Part 3 of a 5 part blog series

As I continue to read today God was not finished with me yet. Even thou the sun threatens to run me off my patio, He has more He needs to tell me—more I need to hear. To start I guess I need to share with you the words I underlined in the book God has chosen for me to start my spiritual journey, well one of the books anyway. God actually has me reading four books at the moment. Each for a different purposes each with a different meaning. As a side note I do find it important to share that this poor little dyslexia girl has NEVER read more than one book at time before now. Well anyway here are the words that spoke to me today. They seem to center around two themes compassion and wounded spirit, they are:

  • People longed for His compassionate touch
  • Each who came was touched
  • And each one was changed
  • Compassionate touch
  • That one touch changed their life forever
  • He extended his hand, palm forward
  • Isolate their wounded
  • He was put outside the village
  • Infected by this fear of rejection and their memories of the last time they tired. They choose not to be touched at all. Rather than RISK being hurt again
  • Before He spoke, I knew He cared
  • I will never forget the One who dared to touch me

This last one did it —God is now yelling at me saying “Kay don’t you get it!” “I want YOU to dare to touch my children completely with all of your being and all of your spirit. And I God will not only show you how (even though you already know how) I will be there to hold you –because I know you think you will fail you think you will fall. But I God knows better. I know that this is only your fear talking because I God know you won’t fall, that you won’t fail; that you will achieve all that I have planned for you to be. I want you Kay to touch my children to honor me by honoring them to validate me by validating them, to christen them in the Glory of Christ. Yours is the Power of the Godly touch.”

As a side note while I re-read what I wrote today God wanted me to change what I wrote. You see as I penned the bullet points above I put the word God in parenthesis. Now God is telling me to remove the parenthesis. He wanted me to own that it is Kay doing the touching, and to stop deflecting by saying it was God. He wants me to truly embrace and own the power that God has given me. Yes, God is working through me but I have to own my part totally and right now in this moment in time — that’s kind of scary for me —

My Spiritual Journey Continued

Part 1 My Spiritual Journey

Part 2 My Struggle…

Part 4 God Wants to Talk to You

Part 5 Steps to Surrender

If you would like Dr. Kay Trotter to come talk to your group or find out more about Kaleidoscope Counseling please call 214-499-0396

Dr Trotter also post regularly on her: Facebook Fan Page and Pinterest.

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