Meditation | Kay Trotter

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All Posts Tagged: Meditation

Coping Skills

S  T  R  E  S  S:   the problem

Whenever we experience emotional distress arising from the four core wounding experiences – loss, rejection, betrayal and humiliation – we have a choice of “hiding” from or ignoring these upsetting experiences.

Our ability to effectively cope with challenges and upsets requires learning and practicing skills so they become everyday coping tools. Just learning about these principles is not enough. Remember about 75% of what you do is out of HABIT.

Training our brain to use health coping methods means we can heal our own emotional wounds so we also feel better about ourselves.

We need all three coping brain functions, thinking, feeling and self-protection, to get over experiences that make us stressed, worried, angry or upset.

C   O   P   I   N   G:  principles

  1. Recognize that no thought or feeling is wrong in itself, it is what we do with it that really counts.
  2. Become aware of the way your body feels as tension begins to build up— remind yourself to breath.
  3. Recognize that you don’t have to go through this alone — help is available from a wide range of sources.
  4. Work to improve communication with your family and friends
  5. If you are experiencing fatigue or feeling overwhelmed, reduce your responsibilities for a period of time.
  6. Recognize that family and friends have to deal with their feelings too.
  7. Share honestly and lovingly how you are feeling
  8. Do things each day that are nurturing to you. Include fun activities, relaxation, time alone, and exercise.
  9. You can work to solve some of the problems that are causing you stress.
  10. Accept that guilt and worry about things you CAN’T change are useless and energy-draining.
  11. Give yourself credit for whatever level of coping you are achieving.
  12. Remember, there is no “instant fix” for stress.
  13. Develop a love and respect for yourself — because each of us is, with our strengths, a special and worthwhile person.

L   I   F   E   S   T   Y   L   E:    body – mind – spirit

You can’t always avoid stress but being able to identify what causes it is the first step toward helping yourself cope better. If you have difficulty pinpointing the causes or “triggers” of your stress, try keeping a record to help you identify patterns of stress.

To effetely use this chart, make a note of all your activates during the day and how you felt at the time. Fill in the chart whenever a stress symptom occurs, noting what happened just before. At the end of the week evaluate when you felt stressed and when you felt relaxed.

 MondayTuesdayWednesdayThursdayFridaySaturdaySunday
Morning
Afternoon
Evening

R   E   L   A  X  A   T   I   O   N:   restores balance

For long-term stress relief you need periods of mental and physical relaxation throughout the day. Relaxation is a set of skills that teach you how to combat the effects of stress and restore the balance between body and mind to enable healthy, happy living.

WHY: long-term stress changes the balance of hormones in the body and leads to exhaustion. A suppressed immune system, slower metabolism and slower cell repair, result in rapid aging, weight gain, and greater risk of degenerative disease.

S   I   M   P   I   L   E:  coping skills

  • Learn to become aware of when you are experiencing stress — listen to your body
  • Practice deep breathing – just 3 deep breaths will change your body chemistry
  • Muscle relaxation
  • Meditation
  • Yoga
  • Mindfulness practices – the state of being attentive to and aware of the present moment only
  • Guided Imagery or Visualizations
  • Journal about your feelings, thoughts and worries
  • Use Positive Affirmations to change negative self-talk
  • Exercise daily
  • Get a Massage
  • Pick a hobby
  • Cut down on activities
  • Unplug from technology – turn down the noise
  • Get outside – your brain is created to respond positively to nature — soothing your soul
  • Get enough sleep
  • Seek social support  – talk to someone
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The Healing Power of Nature – My Outdoor Therapy Room

Where do you go to nurture your soul? To relieve stress? To touch and be touched by our almighty Creator? I go outside to what I lovingly call my “Therapy Room.”  My home near Dallas, TX sits on a gently sloping acre dotted with a few oaks and giving me a view of the neighboring stables, where horses graze contentedly. It’s private, peaceful and wrapped in tranquility. Here is where I can sit and feel the gentle breeze and rising sun warm my body, allowing my soul to resonate with the presence of God. Here I am at peace, as my spiritual being reconnects with the expansive energy network of God, more generically know as the Universal Energy Field. This vast, cosmic sea of endless possibilities and infinite wisdom … the Source of All … extending infinitely … beyond human measure. This Universal Field, Source of All, or “God” is the ultimate living being bringing forth and staying connected to every other living thing.

My Source of All resides outside, and more specifically, on most days outside in my backyard. There I can sit overlooking the gently rolling velvet carpet of my lawn, surrounded by majestic post oak tress, singing birds, and the gracefully calming presence of nearby horses. I begin my healing spiritual journey each morning here in my backyard. Some days my journey includes just watching the clouds and feeling God’s presence; other days I may journal, or listen to the Matt Maher album, “Alive Again.” But today—after the tornados, floods and the highly emotionally charged counseling sessions of this past week, my soul was hurting, so I knew my soul needed to be taken on a guided “healing light” meditation by psychologist Dr. Jan Berlin. Popping in my iPod ear buds, the meditative journey began in the middle of my out-door oasis.

Today, I listened to this healing message with my eyes open so I could also take in the visual healing energy that nature provides me—feeding me. And true to form, tears gently rolled down my cheeks as I felt God’s presence and healing light permeate my body. Someday I hope to be able to offer all my clients an “Outdoor Therapy Room” where they, too, can experience how the out-of-doors can provide them a special place for the human adventure of body, mind, and spirit. Where they, too, can personally experience how nature provides an opportunity for mindful ways of being, for reflection, for peace. How just being in nature—nurtures the soul.

The Healing Light – A Sacred Lens Guided Imagery Journey ~ by Jan Berlin PhD Audio CD

If you would like Dr. Kay Trotter to come talk to your group or find out more about Kaleidoscope Counseling please call 214-499-0396

Dr Trotter also post regularly on her: Facebook Fan Page and Pinterest.

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God Wants to Talk to You

God-wants-to-talk

My Spiritual Journey: Counselor—Faith—Intuition

July 1, 2009

Part 4 of a 5 part blog series

It has been a couple of weeks since I have written in my journal because I have been running away.  That is not to say that God has stopped working in my life—for He has not. I am the one who has been confounding the process. Why, you might ask? Well, that is simple.  “ I got scared” and “I became overwhelmed.” It was interesting when this happened because even though I ran away from journaling and mediating, God was still there — talking to me and guiding me.  He was letting me realize what He wants me to know about Him and His children, and most importantly what He wants me to know about myself.

You might think that’s an awfully egoistical thing to say—that “I am that important.” I, for one, hate to be around people who are all about themselves. I often tell people who are caught-up in themselves, “You’re not that important.” Well, I say that on the inside, anyway. I am way too nice a person to say something so hurtful to their face. Perhaps what I have been doing all this time is saying those words to myself: “Kay, you’re not that important.” But to God, I am that important, as is each one of His children. Right now, though, during my spiritual journey, I think God is telling me, “Yes Kay, you are very important, and I have a very special job for you to do. I need you to embrace your uniqueness so that you can share your unique sense of passion and being.”

Yesterday I had a very special phone conservation with a friend of mine who God put in my life to help guide me on this journey, and to help me claim my healing power. Do you know how hard that was for me to just write that, “to claim my healing power?” The only way I could was to realize that when I claim my own power, in essence I am claiming God’s power. I can do that – I can claim God’s power. And as I go through this process I will gradually also claim my own power and be okay with that.  But today, July 1, 2009, I am not comfortable “claiming all my power.” Oh, I suppose I am okay with parts of it, but I definitely am NOT okay with claiming all of it.

Many things came out of my phone conservation yesterday — like it is me who keeps people at arms length, not them. Yes, people find me to be quirky, expressive and totally unorthodox, but they are not judging me as I thought they were. They are simply processing how to take in this very alive person. The judgment and criticism is not from them but from when I was a kid in elementary school. I was the black sheep of my class — in fact, a fellow classmates of mine repeatedly said I had “cooties.” Yesterday when I realized this, it was like a light went off in my brain.  I cognitively realized that the judgment I so often feel is an old schema from my formative years. Just like I tell my clients, I will have to work hard on changing this old schema and replacing it with a more positive and realistic understanding.

I feel myself growing, realizing ways I’ve limited myself and my happiness, knowing I have the power to change those old behaviors if I so choose.  This growth is not comfortable or easy – but it’s important, and good. I’m slowly turning my deepest hidden fears over to God, and with each one I release, I feel lighter.

My Spiritual Journey Continued 

Part 1 My Spiritual Journey

Part 2 My Struggle…

Part 3 God’s Passionate Touch

Part 5 Steps to Surrender

If you would like Dr. Kay Trotter to come talk to your group or find out more about Kaleidoscope Counseling please call 214-499-0396

Dr Trotter also post regularly on her: Facebook Fan Page and Pinterest.

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God’s Compassionate Touch

Gods-touch

Part 3 of My Spiritual Journey: Counselor—Faith—Intuition

June 22, 2009

Part 3 of a 5 part blog series

As I continue to read today God was not finished with me yet. Even thou the sun threatens to run me off my patio, He has more He needs to tell me—more I need to hear. To start I guess I need to share with you the words I underlined in the book God has chosen for me to start my spiritual journey, well one of the books anyway. God actually has me reading four books at the moment. Each for a different purposes each with a different meaning. As a side note I do find it important to share that this poor little dyslexia girl has NEVER read more than one book at time before now. Well anyway here are the words that spoke to me today. They seem to center around two themes compassion and wounded spirit, they are:

  • People longed for His compassionate touch
  • Each who came was touched
  • And each one was changed
  • Compassionate touch
  • That one touch changed their life forever
  • He extended his hand, palm forward
  • Isolate their wounded
  • He was put outside the village
  • Infected by this fear of rejection and their memories of the last time they tired. They choose not to be touched at all. Rather than RISK being hurt again
  • Before He spoke, I knew He cared
  • I will never forget the One who dared to touch me

This last one did it —God is now yelling at me saying “Kay don’t you get it!” “I want YOU to dare to touch my children completely with all of your being and all of your spirit. And I God will not only show you how (even though you already know how) I will be there to hold you –because I know you think you will fail you think you will fall. But I God knows better. I know that this is only your fear talking because I God know you won’t fall, that you won’t fail; that you will achieve all that I have planned for you to be. I want you Kay to touch my children to honor me by honoring them to validate me by validating them, to christen them in the Glory of Christ. Yours is the Power of the Godly touch.”

As a side note while I re-read what I wrote today God wanted me to change what I wrote. You see as I penned the bullet points above I put the word God in parenthesis. Now God is telling me to remove the parenthesis. He wanted me to own that it is Kay doing the touching, and to stop deflecting by saying it was God. He wants me to truly embrace and own the power that God has given me. Yes, God is working through me but I have to own my part totally and right now in this moment in time — that’s kind of scary for me —

My Spiritual Journey Continued

Part 1 My Spiritual Journey

Part 2 My Struggle…

Part 4 God Wants to Talk to You

Part 5 Steps to Surrender

If you would like Dr. Kay Trotter to come talk to your group or find out more about Kaleidoscope Counseling please call 214-499-0396

Dr Trotter also post regularly on her: Facebook Fan Page and Pinterest.

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My struggle…to be an authentic person

Being-Authentic

My Spiritual Journey: Counselor—Faith—Intuition

June 8, 2009

Part 2 of a 5 part blog series

I can feel myself beginning to question my new commitment to combine all three elements of who I am – the clinical counselor, the Christ-centered religious person, and the spiritually intuitive woman who receives flashes of guidance and clarity – in all aspects of my professional and personal life.

How quickly my memory fades; how quickly I forget the depth of my recent insight, my direction, my new resolve. I do remember how strongly I felt those things I wrote about only two days ago. I remember the tears wetting my face and the tension in my forehead as I embraced the decision to integrate these three parts of my inner core.  But just as powerful as my desire to be “whole” is my mind and body’s overwhelming need to protect me, caution me against standing out, and urge me to maintain the status quo. “Be normal!” is the message from my inner critic.  “No one else ever talks about a burning need to combine clinical, religious and intuitive insight!”

My brain threatens to erase the cognitive connection I came to, and make me soften my writing, my journey’s foot prints, rendering me stuck in non-change—keeping myself unchanged. What a powerful tool this inner conflict provides me to experience first hand how my clients interact with me, and how they feel about the guidance I provide to them daily. I feel just how difficult change can be—even willing, desperate change.

The struggle to open myself up and share these spiritual and intuitive dimensions of my life with others continues to plague me. The desire to be known, to be loved is there — but I quickly close off when I feel even the possibility of the judgment and criticism of others, especially those who are close to me, those whom I love the most.  I know it hurts them, too, when they see how alive I can be, but that I choose not to share that part of me with them. Do they not see that they can’t have it both ways? They can’t effectively shut me down one moment, and then expect me to continue to open my world to them. This is something to this day I have not learned to do. So I fracture myself sharing just those pieces of me they can handle, and not sharing the other pieces of me that they can’t understand or deal with — or should I just exclude them all together and go it alone?

In a way this is part of what my spiritual journey is about; learning how not to “go it alone.” Learning how to put myself out there and stand in my truth, not only with my family (who are the scariest because I have the most to loose with them) but also with everyone with whom I come into contact. I fear that the people at my church, who I do not really know, will make fun of me, or think I am some kind of psychic nut job. I agonize about how my clients will react – the very people I help navigate the level of their own openness and desire to be touched.

My clients perhaps are the least of my fears, because God sent them to me, and they are ready, open and relieved when I talk about what others shy away from. They have had experiences that can’t be explained through traditional, clinical logic, and they have questions that can’t be answered through traditional, clinical logic, either. Not only do I talk about what others consider psychic babble when my clients bring it up, but also I act as if it’s the most normal everyday occurrence, because for me, it truly is. I only wish I could let my family in on this element of my life—my journey. Perhaps God will show me how, or place the desire and openness in them to explore this and not be threatened or fearful. As I walk were He sends me, as I talk to those He brings to me, to I hope all will be made clear.

My Spiritual Journey Continued

Part 1 My Spiritual Journey

Part 3 God’s Passionate Touch

Part 4 God Wants to Talk to You

Part 5 Steps to Surrender

If you would like Dr. Kay Trotter to come talk to your group or find out more about Kaleidoscope Counseling please call 214-499-0396

Dr Trotter also post regularly on her: Facebook Fan Page and Pinterest.

 

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