parents as guides | Kay Trotter

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Guide your children to a better way of behaving

At some point, children will misbehave to the point of having a consequence as a result. Depending on the problem at hand and the family belief of proper action, discipline for your child can take a variety of forms. However, what happens when your child doesn’t care about the consequences and performs these actions anyway? What happens when he or she cares nothing or is not impacted by the disciplinary action of choice?

Lurking Negativity – Taking an item away from a child when he or she misbehaves is a common practice by many parents. For the most part, it can be an effective solution to quell a specific problem. However, some children care nothing of objects and seem to be unaffected by this manner of discipline. If your child doesn’t seem to be affected by his or her actions, there may be a deeper underlying problem that isn’t being addressed.

Keep Communications Open – Depending on the severity of the action from the child that prompted the discipline, keeping your composure may be difficult. Obviously your child wasn’t thinking rationally, but you need to do so in order to deal with the situation. Instead of instantly jumping to conclusions as to why the child did what he or she did, you need to get to the root of the problem. There could be a deeper problem that he or she is trying to work out and is unable. While it may be difficult to get to the heart of the problem as your child can be quite tight-lipped, you still need to show that you are there for them. You can’t force a child to unload his or her problems on you, but you can reassure them that you are there regardless of how bad it may seem.

Repeated Actions – If a deeper problem does persist, the actions that cause you to enforce discipline could repeat themselves. It’s not that your child is purposely trying to enact punishment, although it may seem that way sometimes. He or she is demonstrating there is something wrong and are unable to deal with the circumstance. While disciplinary action can still play a role in how your family functions, you should still concentrate on why he or she did what they did. You would be amazed at how well future problems can be solved with communication and dealing with problems as they arise.

Never Belittle One’s Stress – One thing many parents do is assume that the child’s problem is “silly.” This is especially seen with families that have teenaged members. The problem may be simplistic to you, but it could be dire to an individual who has never experienced it before. You have decades worth of experience in contrast to a child who may be experiencing certain frustrations or heartaches for the first time. While we know that specific problems are not the end of the world, some children could think otherwise. Unless you deal with the underlying problems that cause misbehavior, some circumstances could feel routine. Every problem has a solution, and it’s up to the parent to help the child find the one that fits. You don’t have to solely rely on spanking or grounding your children. Get to the root of the problem before it escalates into something far worse.

KEY
Be involved in your child’s life and guide them to a better way of thinking and behaving

Resources:

In-Home Parenting Coach | One of  Dr. Kay’s professional counselor comes to your home and observes the areas you may be feeling unsuccessful in your parenting and then offers personalized strategies and mentoring to help reduce stress and increase joy. DON’T WAIT, call us at 214-499-0396. SPECIAL OFFER EXPIRES JULY 31.

The Center for Parenting Education | A resource to help parents do the best job they can to raise their children. This link is to their Library of Parenting Articles for parents who are looking for answers right now.

One Trough Job | An online resource for real-live parents has articles to download on Positive Parenting tools that address behaviors and disciple by your child’s age from 6 to teenagers.  

The Task of Childhood Development ages 8 to 18 | 1st blog post of a 4 blog series where Dr Kay talks about childhood development in a way parents can understand and put into practical everyday use. You can also download the complete “Task of Childhood” brochure on Dr Kay’s web page, at bottom of page under “Parenting.”

Dr Kay on Pintrest | The Child & Family Counseling Resources: Community Board is a group board of mental health therapists and specialists dedicated to providing therapeutic resources for children, adolescents, adults, families, and care givers. The Raising Healthy Children Board is full of tips to help parents raise a healthy child by providing unconditional love, plus ways to encourage children to express and explore their emotions.

christine

Guest blogger – Christine Maddox


Author Bio: This post is contributed by Christine Maddox. Currently she is pursuing her Master’s degree from University of Texas as well as blogging for 4 nannies . She loves to write anything related to parenting, kids, nanny care etc. She can be reached via email at: christine.4nannies @ gmail.com.

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